Parenting: How to Encourage Independence in Toddlers

The other day I was reading through a list of key skills that your child should have before the age of twelve – our eight year old could knock off all of the skills, and our six year old is half-way there. Despite the fact that I find these lists to be laughable, as children grow and develop in their own time, it prompted a conversation between my husband and I about just how independent our children are – and the nurturing and encouraging that we’ve integrated into our parenting to cultivate that sense of independence (with the help of tools like the Philips Avent Digital Video Monitor)

We joke that Olivia, who will be nine in July, could easily live on her own and revel in the fact that on Saturday mornings when we’re able to sleep in while Violet prepares elaborate Eggos cut into shapes with whipped cream hair, to bring upstairs to Stella when she wakes up. Thankful for every Saturday morning spent sleeping in, then lounging for even longer with all of the kids in our bed.

What about Toddlers?  

We’ve got an eighteen month old toddler, who on one occasion, has tried to make toast. She’s been able to articulate hunger for months with sign and verbal cues, but this didn’t stop her from pulling a chair over the counter, and trying to insert a piece of toast into the toaster, and then trying to press the button.

Let Toddlers Make the Toast

Let them make the toast. Let them open the bread, let them push the button. They see you do things every single morning, let them try. Let them empty the dishwasher and put the flatware away. I virtual high-fived a mom on Instagram the other day, letting her kid do the same, at the same age. We’ve both got incredibly messy flatware drawers – but our kids? They’ve got this. 

Let Toddlers Explore your living Space

You don’t have to be in the room to keep a watchful eye. Using a video monitor, I regularly allow our eighteen month old to play upstairs, while I am downstairs tidying or doing something else. The doors are closed except for the areas where she’s allowed to go (our six year old’s bedroom, where we’re slowly transitioning her into), and she’ll spend her time in there taking the books off of the shelves, playing with the dolls in the dollhouse and crawling in and out from under the bed to see what Violet has left behind. With a range of 150 feet, I can even pop down to the basement to see what disasters in the form of a box fort the kids have left behind today).

Using a monitor that enables you to communicate with the child, like the Philips Avent Digital video monitor, you’re able to keep a watchful eye, and communicate with them to stop pulling all of her sister’s clothing down from the closet hangers. We have the monitor set up in different places depending on whether she’s napping in the room, or playing, and with each option, you can use the ‘pan’ feature to get a wider vantage point.

Eighteen months later, the video monitor is one of those products that you’re still going to use, for your toddler – but in a different way than the baby. You’re still going to love the zoom-in and private secure connection features, but you’re probably going to be a little a little less focused on the temperature of the room (there’s even a warning when the temperature gets too hot and cold).

Let Toddlers Make Choices

We’ve given choices since Stella has been able to communicate a preference for something, and now, at eighteen months she’s pretty communicative about the things that she wants, whether it’s a diaper with the astronauts on it (her favourite), two piece pyjamas or the package of chocolate or plain croissants at Costco. It takes couple of extra minutes, and in the case of the pattern of the diapers in the baskets in the living room – it may seem meaningless, but it’s part of what we’ve found to work to empower our children’s independence.

Let Toddlers Walk 

We use the stroller, only when absolutely necessary (read: I’ve got to run into the mall to grab something for an event and have approximately 84 errands to run that day). In other cases, she’s walking, exploring, grabbing things, picking up things that she probably shouldn’t and walking. For walks around the neighbourhood, adventures in the river valley – it might be slower, but she’s learning every step of the way (literally).

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I am part of the PTPA Media Brand Ambassador Program with Philips Avent and I received Compensation as part of my affiliation with this group. We’re long time Philips Avent users, and as always all opinions on this blog are my own!