Hey parents. How’s your mental health amidst COVID19?
Here, admittedly it is not great.
Social distancing has changed my life drastically. From the every moment schedule of an entrepreneur and parent, being out of the house for events and meetings constantly, trying to balance it all, to having hours to spend spiralling on social media, consuming every single COVID19 news article, province politics, and every notice of businesses temporarily closed down and being impacted.
Life’s heavy right now, and a whole lot different than we’re used to. How long? No one’s really sure, right? At least a few months, maybe the entire summer, maybe longer than a year.
Two hours ago, when I awoke out of my sleep, heart pounding, it started with the question a lot of people are asking themselves – what the hell are we going to do in three months when our emergency fund runs dry, our successful business in the actual freakin’ business of gathering people, is unable to function because we literally gather people? Part of the time I’m managing over here at Raising Edmonton with our small team of Mamas, but the main part of my day to day is creating events and experiences, over at YEG.date.
Fast forward an hour, after an easy twenty-page read on a COVID19 study, I was at the height of panic when a thought crossed my mind. What if Party City was closed? It’s our middle child’s eighth birthday in four days. Four days. With so many stores closing, was Party City even going to be open? What if I couldn’t get an eight-shaped balloon? What if the gifts I ordered on Amazon didn’t arrive?
I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel panicked.
I should feel grateful. We are healthy. We have three healthy kids. We have shelter, we’re comfortable, we have a pantry stocked with food and aren’t suffering from food insecurity. We have an emergency fund, we have love. We are privileged. We are okay.
But it doesn’t feel okay. It feels like my whole sense of normalcy has been ripped out from under me. Like someone popped that eight-shaped helium balloon and poof, every sense of normal that we had is out the window. You feeling that to this week? Overwhelmed? Heavy? Panicked because the Party City website isn’t working and you can’t load whether they’re open or not.
That’s okay. We’re okay. Let’s just keep telling ourselves that until we start to believe it, okay? Until then, the irrational, not-yet-anxiety-medicated Mother in me is going to head out to Party City and hoard birthday decoration supplies like Toilet Paper.
Today, know that all your feelings are valid, no matter how you feel. love during the hard times,
Lori